James Harden is Doctor Strange. Klay Thompson is the Hulk. And the NBA conference finals are, once again, Marvel’s Avengers: Infinity War.

Just like yesterday’s Eastern Conference counterpart, FloHoops is bringing you a not-so-ordinary preview of the Western Conference Finals, which begin tonight in Houston. 

In most ways, this matchup is completely different from what’s going down in Boston and Cleveland. Where the Cavs are clunky, the Houston Rockets are fluid. Where the Celtics are inexperienced, the Warriors are hardened veterans. This series boasts the NBA’s two most exhilarating offenses; it’s really entertainment incarnate. There’s athleticism, sharpshooting, and tactically exquisite basketball. For the sake of basketball fans everywhere, this series should go the distance.

Golden State may not have home-court advantage, but Steve Kerr and his team don’t really care.

“Our guys have rings,” the skipper said last week. “That’s a good position to be in.”

Here’s the thing: Kerr isn’t wrong.

Like an expert traveling troupe, Kevin Durant, Steph Curry, Draymond Green, and Klay Thompson have been on this stage many times before. They won’t care one iota about Harden’s likely MVP-winning season, nor about CP3’s first trip to the conference finals. Instead, they’ll search for blood. The Warriors, like they’ve been for the past few years now, are the league’s most thrilling, adrenaline-producing team.

Houston, of course, won’t care about Golden State’s rings, just like Golden state won’t care about Houston’s home-court advantage. 

THE ROCKETS

James Harden is DOCTOR STRANGE

The way that Doctor Strange fights in the Avengers series is by sort of whirling around his staff and shooting around his cloak, generally confusing and misdirecting and generally mystifying his opponents with his tricks. Great as the Benedict Cumberbatch character is at these things, James Harden probably has more tricks up his sleeves. But the general fighting theory is the same: one-v-one isolation ball. Case in point . . . nobody is ever going to forget about this: 

? JAMES. HARDEN. ?#Rockets pic.twitter.com/JCphxLzP18

— NBA (@NBA) March 1, 2018

At some level Harden could probably just take the ball at the top of the key, really hardly move at all but just keep dribbling, and the defender would fall over. The bearded star has blended a Manu Ginobili-like awkwardness with good shooting and an annoying (for his defenders) propensity for drawing fouls. In the regular season he averaged more than 10 per game, drilling about 86 percent of the charity chances. On top of all this, of course, he creates, absorbing the attention not only of his immediate defender but of the entire defense. 

Chris Paul is BLACK PANTHER

Aside from Thor, Black Panther is basically the only Avenger who’s really in charge of something. He’s the leader of a nation, a leader, the absolute and irrevocable center of gravity. Though it’s only his first year in Houston, Chris Paul has brought a similar gravitas to the Rockets, something that the Harden on his own (arguably) wasn’t able to achieve. 

These two teams haven’t met since January 20 — Houston won two of three on the year against Golden State — but in that game Chris Paul, pulling the strings for the most part as Harden was returning from a hamstring injury, absolutely dominated the game, logging 33 points, 11 rebounds, and seven assists. But the new addition also put in work on the defensive side of the ball, helping hold Curry to 6-20 from the field.

P. J. Tucker is DRAX THE DESTROYER

Drax the Destroyer is a character from Guardians of the Galaxy, and he plays a role, and he has some lines, but he’s never more than a glue guy.

Not that that’s a bad thing — you need glue guys, and in literal globetrotter P. J. Tucker the Rockets have a damn good one. The 33-year-old University of Texas product has played professionally in Ukraine, Israel, Germany, among other countries, before returning to the Suns for a few years and eventually landing back in the Lone Star State.

Clint Capela is WAR MACHINE

War Machine, like Drax, is the ultimate sidekick. He’s dependable, loyal, and sort of silently hides in the background. Likewise Clint Capela, who doesn’t get near the due he deserves, contributes as a third or even fourth option for the Rockets. The 23-year-old Swiss international has stepped up his game this postseason, especially on the defensive side of the ball. In the regular season he finished second in the league in blocking with nearly two per game, but in the playoffs he’s raised that figure to nearly three — a half-block more than Anthony Davis and Rudy Gobert.

THE WARRIORS

Stephen Curry is CAPTAIN AMERICA

Some people (don’t ask us why) out in the basketball world really hate LeBron James — really, really intensely. Some people can’t stand James Harden. Others are consumed by a fit of rage even at the mention of the name Russell Westbrook. But basically the only reason anyone even remotely dislikes Steph Curry is because he chews his mouthguard.

Captain America and Steph have these traits in common: they’re not the dudes you typically think of as superheroes, and there’s virtually nothing to dislike about them. 

Kevin Durant is IRON MAN

Talk about someone who can be disliked, Iron Man practically relishes the role of being an unlikeable anti-hero, and Kevin Durant has offered a similar public image. The absurd jersey-burning and social media-bashing of No. 35 after he departed Oklahoma City for Golden State seems to have forever changed the star, whose reputation in Oklahoma was that of a soft-spoken, Mr. Nice Guy person.

Now he’s the villain, and he’s just doing just fine. He’s already won an NBA championship and he’s got more in mind. With an arsenal that seriously rivals Iron Man's, KD is as deadly as ever, even though his role may be slightly diminished in such a star-studded lineup.

Klay Thompson is HULK

Most of the time, Bruce Banner is a mild-mannered genius. He’s got a kind of self-deprecating, ho-hum mien, and most of the time Klay Thompson is pretty similar. He’s not yelling and screaming like Daymond. He doesn’t offer the kid-on-the-playground playfulness of Steph. And he won’t embrace the hate like Durant. 

But when Thompson, like Banner, goes off — he really goes off. Like that time he scored 60 points in three quarters:

All of @KlayThompson's ??? from tonight! #DubNation pic.twitter.com/u1MSksmCQI

— Golden State Warriors (@warriors) December 6, 2016

It’d be fatal for Houston — and whomever else the Warriors play — to forget what Thompson is capable of.

Draymond Green is ROCKET

This comparison makes too much sense. Rocket talks a lot; so does Draymond Green. Rocket is ever more helpful than you think he’d be; so is Draymond. Rocket is small; so is Draymond — for his position, at least. 

The ever-divisive forward wreaks havoc on his opponents, whether by flailing limbs or defensive stops or pick-and-rolls. 

The Verdict

No matter what happens in this series, we at FloHoops sincerely, from the bottom of our basketball-loving hearts, hope it goes seven games. We hope there’s as much scoring as there could be. We hope each game comes down to the wire, and that all the many superstars have time to shine at one point or another. Buckle your seatbelt, friends, because this is going to be one hell of a ride.

Prediction: Warriors in seven.